Sitting in a hotel in Sri Lanka, listening to the rain, writing poems and lyrics.. never thought this would be my life, but here I am.
I'm feeling like I need some direction though. Like I need some solid goals. I know I want to go back and pack up my unit in Sydney, and close that chapter of my life. But where to from there? So much uncertainty...
I've been struggling with my mood a lot today. A phone call with a friend helped me on point why I've been feeling so low. And it boils down to safety. While there has been a nice layer of safety being with my parents, we've been travelling a lot, and not really had a home base for a few months. And even prior to leaving to go to India, I was lacking safety, and didn't feel like where I was living was "home".
What defines "home"?
Somewhere you can go to seek shelter from the world? To switch off?
Somewhere you feel loved, and supported, accepted for who you are? With no pressure to be anyone or anything, a space to just exist.
But what happens when that pressure comes from within you? Then, nowhere is going to feel like home, nowhere is going to feel comfortable or safe.
Stop pressuring yourself to make decisions and do things. Take time to heal and feel better and a way forward will present itself to you. xxxx
ReplyDeleteDon't allow the feelings of pressure rise above and swamp the good feelings you have that get stronger and stronger each and every day..... you have a great love to move towards and share a great life together... that's home.... where your heart is... always!
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