Thursday 23 June 2022

Tired thoughts

Is it hopeless, to want a love like that? 


The kind of love that inspires movies and books and songs. 


Is it delusional, to hope to be loved like that? 


I know I can love like that. 


I'm just not sure I can be loved like that.  


Because if history is anything to go by…


I'm left time and time again… feeling like I'm not worth it. 


Maybe I give too much, too quickly. 


That's kinda hard to avoid, when I wear my heart on my sleeve. 

Thursday 16 June 2022

"Not everybody is worthy of your love"







 It's easy to look back with shame. Chapters of my life that ended horribly. Where my brain malfunctioned completely. Where too much stress, and a history of trauma, and pain, caused my neurons to go haywire. 


That shame is often amplified thinking about the people in my life who walked away when I needed them the most. 

People I thought loved me and cared about me. People I loved and cared so deeply for. People I'd supported through their darkest moments. 


Was my pain really something to be ashamed of? Such a huge burden?


I'm so incredibly grateful to the people who did stick by me and try their best to love and support me.

To my family, no matter how dysfunctional we can be, we are always there for each other. 

And the friends who did stick around, despite how difficult that was.


I love easily. And I care deeply.

As a wise soul said to me today:


"Not everybody is worthy of your love."




 I've had a really difficult couple of years.... My brain broke, and my world fell apart. I was lucky enough to spend a few months overs...