And I find myself
Wishing
Wanting
Simplicity
Lacking
Losing
Release me
And I dive head first
Into my pain
Surrounding myself with shadows
Will I find myself again
Stumbling through
Blinded by lights
Shining in the eyes
Of those created long ago
I just want a simple life
With just my dreams
With wants and desires
With simply my needs
Dreaming of tomorrow
But with more uncertainty than ever
The only thing I'm certain of
Is the ring that means forever.
I see your face... And I can't even put into words. I Melt. And I fly. And I crash down when I realise that there's two screens between us. And oceans and mountains and castles. Thousands of miles apart, and I can't stand it when that thought hits me. Like a tonne of bricks.
I'm a romantic. You all know that.
And I've had people tell me, now, and in the past, that I need to take time for me after a break up.
Time to find myself again.
And you're not wrong.
But.
I've met someone.
And my world is spinning on a different axis.
I've met someone who, in such a short space of time, knows me better than anyone else (and that's not an exaggeration).
New relationship energy? Perhaps. But we're yet to actually be in the same physical space. And yes, of course my mind floods with what ifs.
But then... I see his face.
Or I hear his voice.
Or I get a message.
And I'm brought back to how I feel.
And it's magical.
I never thought I'd meet someone who ticks so many boxes.
Are there red flags? Probably, yes, for both of us.
But we talk through ALL OF IT. We acknowledge issues when they comes up. We communicate, together. And if that ain't hashtagcouplegoals I don't know what is.
Dark and mysterious, sure.. but hard to read?
Hardly.
I'm an open book, to those willing to pry, but a word of advice: ask for the index. Why?
The chapters are long,
The beginnings a mess,
There's triggering content,
Abuse, sex, drugs, and the rest
You'll find yourself laughing
But some of it will make you cry
A roller coaster of emotions,
Are you ready for the ride?
Which alter is coming out to play?
who knows, really
it's that kind of day
there's blue in the sky
and a smile on my face
dissociation
has kept me in the race
but how are you to know
who you're talking to
when i dont know
which persona's come through
who am i today
who am i to you
a life time of trauma
will split you in two
but
if you're lucky
you'll get more than two
sometimes known as alters
we're here to protect you
