I'm tired.
I'm tired of putting it all on the table
With a card that says
"This is all I have to offer, please
Love me"
Maybe I need to learn
How to play the game
But that's not who I am
But am I just setting myself up
For heartbreak
Over
And over
Again?
There's that old saying.. why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
I'm tired. And it always ends the same way.
Every now and then I get flashes of memories. The happy memories are worse, if im honest.
I can't deny you. You were such a big part of my life. I still tear up thinking about how it ended.
But I look forward to a happy future, while being grounded in the present.
Despite the fact I've spent all day
Lying in bed spiralling
With those awful thoughts on repeat
I get up, and jump in the pool
And swim until I'm short on breath
Despite the fact that I'm hating
Myself today
With those awful thoughts on repeat
I resist the urge to sit under the shower
And wallow even further
Despite the fact I feel alone
Rejected, unworthy
And so God damn unsure
I put on a brave face
Because despite what my depression
Tries to tell me
I'm worthy, i have purpose
And I won't give in
Despite... and maybe to spite you
I won't give in
